Bollywood is definitely a great place and I can’t see myself being anywhere else. Being born to a family associated with movies, I learnt the basics at an early age... And knowledge must be spread.
So here it is... The tongue-in-cheek A to Z of the Bollywood Alphabet as I know it... Some of it may be relevant... Most of it may not... But go through it anyway...
A for AMITABH BACHCHAN – The undisputed King of Bollywood
B for BALLS – which some have... some pretend to... and some don’t at all...
C for CRITICS – who aren’t always qualified but never disqualified!
D for DIRECTOR – who everyone assumes knows what he is doing.
E for EGO – which is plenty in the industry but seldom helps.
F for ******* – Lets not go there... I’ll need more than a column to divulge those details...
G for GOSSIP – which everyone contributes to yet no one owns up to...
H for HISTORY – Which if you don’t make it... You are it...
I for INTERNATIONAL – which everyone has gone but ‘they’ still aren’t aware...
J for JACK OF ALL TRADES – that would undoubtedly be me...
K for KAREENA AND KATRINA – who have beauty, brains and blockbusters...
L for LUST – which most often is mistaken for the other four-letter word beginning with ‘L’...
M for MOTHER – an element that never goes wrong in movies...
N for NEW AGE – A word often thrown at the mainstream to give it a complex...
O for ORGANISATION – An alien concept in most quarters...
P for PAPARAZZI AND PR – The latest entrants in Bollywood... Celebrities are fashionably in denial about them but cant do a day without them...
Q for QUEENS – A lot of them around ruling the roost...
R for RAT RACE – Even if you win you are still a rat... Just a well-paid one!
S for SHAH RUKH KHAN – Sorry couldn’t resist that one...
T for TWITTER – where everyone’s talking and no one’s listening
U for UNIVERSAL HIT – Full page ads proclaim this every Friday... ‘Proclaim’ being the operative word...
W for WANNABE – a virus that has no vaccination...
X for ‘EX FACTOR’ – which rules the industry... Everywhere you turn there’s an ex!
Y for YES MEN – who everyone has around them just to feel ‘objective’...
Z for Zzzzzzz – a sound I’m hoping you guys aren’t making right now!
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